I have a gratitude problem. Seems like something odd to say, but it’s the truth. In fact, of all the attributes a Christian can have, gratitude seems to be the hardest—at least for me. It cannot be given to you. You cannot earn it, and you cannot manifest it out of thin air. Instead, it is a practice—an exercise that you must work at daily. Once you start practicing it, you cannot stop. Gratitude is a fruit of the Spirit, and it comes through a strengthened relationship with God.
For too long, I’ve been a creature of circumstance, dwelling on what should have been and stuck in the belief that, “I’ve done everything right; why didn’t I get this job, or house, or have a certain amount of money by 35?” After falling short of “society’s” expectations, I started looking at the causes of my perceived failure. I didn’t grow up rich enough. I have ADHD. I struggle with depression. I’m just wired differently.
All of this culminates in what we call “main character syndrome”—a sort of arrogance brought on by a sense of deserving a better life simply because of suffering and going without. You walk through life with an envious chip on your shoulder, measuring everything and scheming on how to do better than your peers: a better job, family, house, everything. This form of anti-gratitude runs contrary to living a fruitful Christian life, and instead invites darkness and depression. More importantly, this negativity seeps into all aspects of life and prohibits the very things you desire.
We don’t talk about the hard moments enough—failure, depression, and anxiety. On social media, in church, and in our professional lives, we only celebrate the “victories.” But when you are consumed with depression and anxiety, how can you start practicing gratitude?
First, by acknowledging that depression and anxiety are not sins, nor do they mean that you lack faith. Anxiety is often a reaction to circumstance and uncertainty—and the enemy works overtime in those moments to pull us away from God.
Look at Scripture. Many of God’s chosen servants went through depression, agony, and weariness:
Moses: As the Israelites were wandering in the wilderness, the burden was too heavy for Moses, so he cried out to God, “I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me. If you will treat me like this, kill me at once, if I find favor in your sight, that I may not see my wretchedness.” (Numbers 11:14-15)
Jeremiah: Prophesying to a rebellious people, Jeremiah was arrested, beaten, and faced plots against his life. He cried out, “Why did I come out from the womb to see toil and sorrow, and spend my days in shame?” (Jeremiah 20:18)
Elijah: After challenging and killing the prophets of Baal, Elijah ran into the wilderness to escape Jezebel. Worn out and fearing for his life, he sat under a tree and said, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” (1 Kings 19:4)
Job: A man who was blameless and upright lost his property, children, and health. Satan tested him, pushing Job to wish he hadn’t been born (Job 3:11).
In all of these examples, when God’s chosen stopped moving because they were tired and had crippling depression, God never abandoned them. He spoke to them, fed them, and restored their strength. Once Job surrendered, he was restored.
Paul did what very few of us would do: he celebrated weakness.
In 2 Corinthians 12:7, Paul writes, “So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.” We often blame God for our hardships, asking why He would tempt us. But as James 1:13 reminds us, “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone.”
Paul pleaded with the Lord three times that the hardship and temptation should leave him. “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
Paul was content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ. “For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
We don’t get closer to God when everything is going great in life. We get closer to Him when everything else is gone, and He is the only one there in the room. When God uses us for His will, life isn’t smooth sailing.
So how do we break the chains of depression and move to a place where we bear the fruit of gratitude?
By intentionally recognizing it daily with a spirit of thanksgiving. I keep a little notebook on me- a gratitude journal where I write down what I’m thankful for daily or once a week. I’ll even include scripture or prayers. It isn’t always easy, but think of the small things we normally take for granted—little “victories,” or if nothing major is happening, simply being grateful for a moment of peace. When things are bad, look at the teachable moments. What did you learn? How are you getting stronger?
What do we do with our anxiety? We bring it to God in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, trusting Him to forgive us and hold our future.
Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
And as Isaiah 43:18-19 promises, “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
Like Paul, we can celebrate being in the wilderness. We can boast about not having the success that society tells us we should have. Why? Because it’s in that moment when we feel like we can’t go on to another day, when we sit alone in a dark room, we draw nearer to the Father, and in that moment of weakness, he reveals Himself to us. He gives us the manna to keep going. That’s something to be grateful for.